Monday, June 27, 2011

Suck it Up Bluebell

Okay, so my Doctor told me to get a personal trainer. He said I was losing muscle strength, and training would help alleviate my pain, aid in mobility.  In other words, I might be able to move without looking and sounding like my dead, great-grandmother! I sat on the table, contemplating kicking him in the shin, as soon as I  garnered the strength, when he handed me  a physician's order for physical therapy, and exited the room. Guess he could tell I wasn't pleased with his assessment.

Did I look that terrible? Seriously?  But okay, I decided to play his game,  maybe it would help. I checked myself out, in the mirror, while putting my clothes back on, and warmed to the idea, picturing myself in black, workout clothes, fit and trim. Perhaps  I can get in shape, redefine my muscles, become a new, sexy, late middle-age woman! Hell, anything's possible. Who knows, by Christmas, I might be able to sashay across the room, instead of amble with a limp.

So, taking the Doctor's order, I promptly, hired me a personal trainer. A few things I should share: he was an ex-military, bronze star, triathlete with a favorite saying,  "Suck it up bluebell." Want to guess who bluebell is?

In the first few days of training, I discovered the following truths. You CAN walk 3 miles, short of breath and not lose consciousness. Balancing on all fours, while on a gigantic blue rubber ball is not for the faint of heart, and  almost impossible to do. There are more ways to do sit-ups than you imagined, and I got to do them all!  A peak heart rate of 160 bpm is okay! You truly aren't dying of  a heart attack! The gasping whale sound you hear is probably you; it will get better. The  tomato-red color  your face turns during workouts does fade to normal, just takes a few hours. And last but not least, personal trainers send you home with a written plan, for your  days off,  and spy on you to make sure you're following through.

On the agenda soon, kayaking! Will it matter that I'm not a strong swimmer, afraid of rolling over in the kayak and drowning upside down or 37 degrees outside?

Do I hear "Suck it up bluebell?"